This story is about an individual that feels sad due to their recent failed relationship.
Have a read and see what you think!
“You’re not wanted here.”
Evidently, I wasn’t wanted there. So, I left, tired and stepped out into the refreshing sun. As the calm morning evolved and went on around me, the birds singing harmoniously and united (all as one) I sat on the bench, clueless. Gradually, the lake was invaded by a swarm of ducks and pigeons, leaving no place free. Some ducks even got pushed about like they weren’t wanted there. Well, I say pushed but I really mean threatened, beaten up and damaged emotionally and mentally. The damage had got so serious that some ducks didn’t even try muscling their way back into the pond; they ‘walked’ away, their tiny feet moving rhythmically, one, then the other, then the first and again the other one.
Of course, at the end of the mini-war, all the ducks sat on top of the pond, minding about their own day, not being worried about anything else that was going on around them. Unified, they all sung among the wind, calmly, in tune and like a choir – nature was at its best on this sunny morning. Then, there was me. I sat there, agitated, and thought about why I wasn’t wanted. What had I done for this calamity to happen? Confused, I sat and thought about why Mark had turned his back to me; he had given up hope like he would do with anyone else that is his employee – he didn’t know this, but I was more than an employee. I loved him, admired him, role-modelled him.
I don’t think he knew about this – the passion igniting me endlessly and the fire burning through me, leaving me decomposed and disorientated. I wouldn’t expect him to know, he wasn’t really the smartest bunch in the whole office. He was just one of those guys, the calm ones that said absolutely nothing even if a storm had been conjured and forced onto his house – destructing everything; I can just imagine him saying something like “No problem, we can buy a new house”. ‘We’ wasn’t me and him – ha – it had to be Mark and Julie, husband and wife, male and female. I could never have a relationship with him.
I sat on the park bench, opposite his office room – I was certain he was staring out of the window, peering beyond the blinds covering his view, ignoring the road and focusing on me – me. Carefully, he moves into his desk chair and observes the view around the park, other beautiful women jogging in the light, dreamy air of the summer and a couple of men, ploughing their way through Greggs with sausage roll pastry shooting off in all directions as they take one unhealthy bite after another. I knew that Mark was ignoring the rest of the pack and he was looking at me; through those blinds, I could visualise him gaping and looking at me, only me.
But, he didn’t come to get me, so I knew I wasn’t wanted there. The calm morning turned into a hectic afternoon, the sun diminishing and the clouds erupting and approaching from behind the buildings – especially Mark’s office. I didn’t really know why the weather changed so suddenly, surely, it wasn’t anything to do with me. The ducks had now vanished as thunder rumbled through my ears and waves of rain lashed out at me. Mark banished me from the office and this is why I was here – all because of Mark. All of it was Mark’s fault.
Maybe it was my fault: maybe I tried building a relationship with him too quickly, maybe I tried to force him into liking me, and maybe he wasn’t gay.